Sundance and April Fool's Day

Tomorrow's the last day of ski-season at Sundance. That's pretty sad. But I'm going up to Snowbird in a couple weeks. So I'm pretty stoked about that. Because it would have been a tragedy if my entire season had been spent at Sundance. I mean, don't get me wrong: Sundance is nice. But it's just so....small. And there's so little snow. So it's one appeal is basically its proximity to Provo. And Snowbird just isn't that much farther away. I think. Anyways. This afternoon I had a starling revelation. And I'm hoping, just hoping that it's just an early April Fool's Day prank or that I'm just totally misunderstanding things(which I never do, right?). I'd go into more detail but I kind of want to just go on as if I hadn't read what I read and assume things aren't as bad as they appear.

Anyways, I need to get out and do something good for someone. Anyone. I've come to the conclusion that I'm way too self centered. At least I can recognize that. But when it comes to doing something about it, well we'll see what happens.

Sights and Sounds

Recently stolen from someone who's stealing my internet- I think it's justified, don't you?

Rachel playing the Guitar at Mandy and Erin's house.

Crazy Coppers

CNN.com - Woman gives birth in car before police pull her over at gunpoint

I wonder if the rest of her life is as interesting as that must have been.

High School Crush

So I was at my friends' house tonight watching What Dreams May Come. Then the girl that lives across the hall walked in. And I had a crush on her in high school. And so running into her like that was pretty random, don't you think? It was an interesting coincidence.

Camera

I just bought a digital camera. A Casio. I'm way excited about it. Unfortunately, I decided to not buy the memory card because I thought I could get it cheaper online(I just checked and didn't find it at a lower price). So I don't get to play with it much until I go back to the store tomorrow to buy the memory card. But I did take this picture of myself laying on the floor at my buddy's house. I didn't have anything else to take a picture of at one in the morning.

Tonight I went to see Another Statistic play at Muse. They are way awesome. Their demo is coming out next week. It's pretty sweet, but my favorite song isn't on it. But I'm sure they'll be in the studio before long. The headlining band was good...but my legs got way tired and I was way hungry so I left before they had really begun their set. And this is the second night in a row that I'm not getting to bed before four in the morning. And that is not healthy. So I'm going to bed now.

Weekly top ten list

Top ten things about New Jersey:

1. Jughandles. On main roads, you never have to make left hand turns.
2. Holmdel Park- The awesomest cross country course in the history of ever.
3. MAC machines- Apparently the rest of the world says ATM? What's that all about?
4. Full Service Gas Stations- Yeah- it's a law. you can't pump your own gasoline. This causes problems when you finally have to drive somewhere else and don't know how to pump gas.
5. The Jersey Turnpike- I just like the sound of its name.
6. Kevin Smith and Zach Braff- Awesome directors who make movies about New Jersey. On a side note, Danny DeVito always sneaks Jersey into his movies although not as blatantly as the aforementioned directors
7. Matzah Ball Soup- You don't know what it is? Then you haven't been to a diner in Jersey.
8. Pete and Elda's Bar and Grill- Ok, so I've never actually been. But the T Shirts are awesome.
9. WaWa- Yeah. That's just a convenience store. But how freaking cool is it to say, 'Let's go to WaWa?'
10. Cornerstone Cafe- Yes. Cornerstone and the rest of downtown Freehold including Rita's and gelottis(spelling?). It's just a cool downtown area and reminds me of Bruce Springsteen.

So, unbeknownest to me while I lived there, but New Jersey is pretty freaking awesome. sweet, huh? Mostly I miss it. I think I'm going to make a trip there this summer. Unfortunately, I am experiencing Garden State syndrome. I miss an imaginary place. The New Jersey I knew four years ago isn't the Jersey I'll go back to this summer. And the Jersey I once knew isn't going to come back.

Top Five Saddest Movies in the History of Ever

	United States of Leland - Thoroughly good but lots of heartbreak and thoroughly sad deaths
	Mystic River- Just a sad situation for people to be in. Had to watch another movie afterwards just to stop feeling bad.
	Hotel Rwanda- Apparently people didn't know about Rwanda before this movie? Idk. But the situation in Darfour is a good indication that we haven't learned. We tried watching a comedy after watching this but weren't in the mood.
	The Butterfly Effect- The director's cut is the sad version. Thoroughly sad in the 'People Sacrificing Themselves For The People They Love' department.

Falling Asleep on Couches

So I have this uncanny ability to fall asleep on random couches. The last time it happened, it was on my friends' couch. Last night, I fell asleep at someone's house who I met last night. And there wasn't even anyone who lived there in the room when I fell asleep. That's sad. Fortunately I got up at like 4 and went home. Actually, I started to write this while sitting on someone else's couch, and I was writing it about falling asleep late at night- but then I fell asleep here. Which is sad. Additionally, I almost fell asleep on someone else's couch about two hours ago. I really had only gone there to look for my roommate. He wasn't there but the couch was really inviting looking. So I laid down on it and listened to the girl who lives there tell me why pursuing the cute girl i met last night is a really bad idea. And then the conversation died and I almost fell asleep. But then I mustered the will power to leave. And then I promptly came over here and fell asleep on the couch here. I'm ridiculous. Seriously.

Things blowing up.

For some reason whenever I read about something blowing up, I assume that somebody blew it up on purpose (unless it's a massive gas storage facility). Because it's so random that something would straight up blow up. It's normal for it to wreck or derail or fall over. But when it has explosive force, I think it has to be intentional. So when I read that a bus blows up in China, I start thinking about who would have blown it up. And I came to the conclusion that I have no idea. I don't know, maybe I'm just that wierd. Or maybe I just perscribe to the social conflict theory way too much and I need everything to be a result of conflicts. Who knows. At least I feel comfortable using technical sociological terms like social conflict theory in everyday speech. Or something....

Stuff.

You told me you can't wait to see me and you didn't bother to even show up This whole situations incredibly typical Don't pick up the phone, don't bother to look in my direction I shoulda seen it all along I shoulda seen it all along It's girls like you that make me think I'm better off home on a saturday night with all my doors locked down tight I won't be thinkin' about you, baby Home on a saturday night with all my doors locked down tight I won't be thinkin' about you, baby Forget everything you think you know about me This isn't highschool This isn't highschool This isn't highschool This isn't highschool This isn't highschool This isn't highschool This isn't highschool This isn't highschool (forget everything you think you know about me) -Last Chance to Lose Your Keys

Playlists

I used to hate playlists with a passion. I didn't understand their purpose. But lately, I wake up and some random hip hop song(usually Ja Rule) starts playing. Thoroughly annoying. So I've taken to making playlists with just acoustic/mellow stuff on them and then putting the playlist on before I go to bed. It avoids the trip across my room to go change songs. Which for some reason is really annoying. Not like it actually requires much work, but it's just the principle of the thing. Like, I get all comfortable and then I have to move and the covers never go back to their original position.
Wow. I can whine about the most inane things. Like seriously, what do I have to complain about? Granted, there is the whole heart break idea. That's pretty freaking tragic. But seriously, I was a grump before that. I need to work on that. I just need to buck up and be happy. Right? Once again: I am not a dead deer. Even though that sounds really depressing, it seems really optimistic to me. Yeah. So, it's late. My thoughts are wandering. They don't wander far- but they take some crazy loops.

On Chacos, Chai and Triathlons

Here's what I have to say about Chacos being awesome. I resisted for a long time. But I finally relented when I found some black ones at the Patagonia outlet for 70$. I just discovered a couple minutes ago that they are adjustable. I totally thought that all you could do was loosen or tighten the buckle. But apparently it only has one strap and you can loosen and tighten the different parts of it; way cool. The sad part is that I'm pretty sure somebody already told me about it and I had forgotten.


I went to Wild Oats in Park City on Friday and bought two boxes of chai. Then, my diet on Saturday consisted of one of those boxes of chai. I did the same thing on Valentine's day. And both days, I got the same result: A way messed up stomach. It was making noises all day long. I think I need to convert to the powdered version. Unfortunately, I had a really bad experience with it the first time I tried it. So even though I have this conversation about once a week and I had some powdered stuff sent to me, it is really hard for me to accept that powdered chai might be good. Anyways, I am thoroughly convinced that Chai is awesome. It is always good to find someone that is as obsessed with it as I am because that doesn't happen much.

Yeah. So I'm running a triathlon? I guess. Basically, I need something to look forward to so that I will keep running. I could just keep getting myself into depressing situations(my current running kick is evidence of girls' ability to make me exercise- not because I want to look attractive or anything- just because I get so mad I need to run it off). But that's not much fun at all and reminds me too much of freshman year. So anyways. The St. George triathlon is in mid May. So now I'm training for it. Rock on.

Hundreds of thousands of flag-waving Lebanese flooded central Beirut Tuesday for a pro-Syrian rally called by Hizbollah that dwarfed previous Lebanese protests demanding that Syrian troops quit Lebanon.


Syrian forces are credited with helping ending the civil war that tore Lebanon apart. Christian, Muslim and Druze militias fought each other. Battles also erupted within the rival communities. About 150,000 people are thought to have died.
Pro Syria Rally

I just get so confused. It's a good thing movies aren't confusing.

Garden State quote of the day:

Large- I guess I could choose to trust you.
Sam- You could do that?
Large- I could try.

BYUSA Election

so, how about the byusa elections being dirty? yeah. that's disgusting.
some people are ridiculous. i'm serious, here. as in i'm here and i'm serious.

Lostprophets and Summer

I want to go wakeboarding. This is because I have been listening to Lostprophets a lot and for some reason, I think of wakeboarding when I listen to them. It's like Fall Out Boy is to skiing. Ok, so that's just me. Anyways, theoretically, I have friends with boats and boards, but I have to get around to setting things up. Also, I want to make this summer the summer of cookouts and roadtrips. Anyone who is down, just holler.

Modest Mouse

Smiths' song of the week: Sheila Take A Bow


So I went to the Modest Mouse concert on Friday. It's a continuation of my recent obsession with going to concerts. I was way stoked for three reasons.

• I got to drive up to Salt Lake and back with the girl that went with me.


• I like Modest Mouse's music.


• I like finding out about smaller bands that open for bigger bands

So Modest Mouse makes awesome music, somehow I wound up with a bruise on my arm, and even though my glasses fell off twice, they never hit the ground. Being with her was awesome, although a bit awkward at times. Despite the awesome music, I absolutely hate the lead singer. He's a pompous prick and he's morbid. And he looks just like Nathan Lane. Ok, so in the picture he doesn't look so much like him, but in a tan safari suit he does. Bread Cereal.

And the opening act was freaking amazing. Like seriously, sometimes you just feel music and it like reaches out and touches you. Yeah. So Mason Jennings(the singer who opened) achieved that. And his voice is really traditional but the instrumentation is awesomely innovative(according to me). But since it was just him and a bass player and a drummer, I don't know why he is just known by his name and not by a band name. Go figure. Anyways, you should all check him out.

So after the show we went to the coffee shop that we went to last week and they were playing the Smiths. And I was so stoked because they validated my taste in music. Seriously, I was happy there and now when I listen to the Smiths(as I'm doing right now) I think of being there on Friday and being happy.

The Airport

So, the last time I watched Garden State it was sad because of the realization that I had when they were talking about how their home had become a mere house. This time, it was sad because I realized that I am sitting in a phone booth crying (only I'm not literally crying) and nobody is coming to stop me. But I'm learning to deal with it. Today's motto: 'I am not a dead deer'. Sub motto: 'I am the warm center around which their universe revolves'.

On Being Independent

Smiths song of the week: Panic

I've been trying to figure out the whole being independent idea and its relation to dressing independent. Because I have this desire to dress drastically independent to prove that I'm independent and not a follower, but at the same time, I fear that trying too hard to be independent only leads to being a follower because everyone is trying to show their independence through their clothes. I feel that I should dress to be comfortable and not care if everyone else is doing it or not and demonstrate my independence through other means. Anyways, I have gone through these phases of wanting to dress outrageous, but never actually getting around to it.

This has been going on since eighth grade when my friend loaned me his NoFX cd. I really wanted light blue hair. But, I never got around to doing it (which is probably a good thing). This punk hardcore stage lasted through freshman year of highschool. I conformed to the anticomformist styles. Then, about midway through the year I gave up on being an 'individual' and shopped exclusively at the Gap and Banana and American Eagle for the rest of high school. Thus begins my cycle of clothing choices.

Then this year the cycle took another turn and I got back into the whole 'I'm an individual' schtick. Before I got out here I wanted to dress like a climber and just wear clothes from climbing companies. Then, after watching A Hard Day's Night, I wanted to dress mod. I was going to get some beatle boots, wear suits and skinny ties and leave my hair get long. I only got to the relatively long hair in the Beatles' style, but was too lazy to spend money on Beatle boots. So while I thought it would be particularly ironic to wear the object of sixties' conformity as a mark of independence, I just never got motivated about it enough to actually do it. So then I just followed the punk-jock style(yeah, that's my own term and no, i'm not a jock at all). Kind of sad really, but I feel comfortable with the flipped up collar and skate shoes.

Recently I've been listening to a lot of 'Ugly People Rock'. More on what that is later. I keep being tempted to buy tight jeans, converse (or I guess the new thing is checkerboard slipons), and Member's Only jackets, but I really like my Etnies way too much. And Etnies really don't go with the ugly style. My other problem with that style is that if you go to a Strokes cover band show- Everyone is dressed exactly the same. So much for being an independent thinker. Which brings me back to my original point. If I'm trying to be different than the materialist fashion minded people by focusing on fashion(albeit one different than theirs), have I really shown my independence or am I merely playing their game? Thusly concluded, I came to the conclusion that I have no idea what I'm talking about. I still don't know what to wear ever and if I should even care. If wearing the costume of a punk or an individual really makes me an individual or if I need props or if I should write my own scripts or if I just follow the scripts willfuly then will I be really showing my independence. I meet too many people who think they are individuals but they are just like everyone else in the way that they think.

Mixtapes and Fenix*TX

Recently I've had a thing for actually listening to the lyrics of songs because I was trying to make a mix tape for someone and I was following Rob Gordon's advice:

Now, the making of a good compilation tape is a very subtle art. Many do's and don'ts. First of all you're using someone else's poetry to express how you feel. This is a delicate thing... The making of a great compilation tape is hard to do and takes ages longer than it might seem. You gotta kick off with a killer, to grab attention. Then you got to take it up a notch, but you don't wanna blow your wad, so then you got to cool it off a notch. There are a lot of rules.

So I saw High Fidelity years ago, but I have always kept that in mind when contemplating the making of mixtapes. So for this particular mix tape, I have some songs which, theoretically, mean something to the person I was making the mix tape for ( they mean something to me b/c of her). But I wanted some songs which she might not have heard but would like. I was trying to use Mixtape by Brand New because it's about making a mixtape. But I'm not bitter and it is so that was a no go. Then there was a song by Blink182 on Cheshire Cat that I thought conveyed my feelings well, but being Blink, it was way sketchy. I really liked Jude Law and a Semester Abroad too because she's going on study abroad next fall and the chorus is awesome, but once again I'm not bitter and the verses are pretty freaking bitter. So pretty much only the chorus works for me. Then I thought, maybe I'm being too cliched, putting a song called Mix Tape on a mix tape and another song about study abroad. I just started to think that the whole thing was a bit sketchy and that I needed some awesomely creative songs. And then, to complicate things, while I was making this mixtape, things changed between us, so now, I've got to rethink things.



So I've had the self titled Fenix*TX album for a while now. And while I like some of the songs on it... I could never get too enthused about it cause about halfway through it gets way wierd. It does remind me a lot of American Pie I think, but it's been a while since I've seen that, so I might be confused. A couple days ago I had the opportunity to 'acquire' Lechuza- their second album. And while I haven't been able to listen to the whole thing, but so far I've been way impressed. I liked the sound and I approved of the lyrics (at least what I heard-it has a parental advisory, but I didn't hear anything which would merit that, so, who knows). Anywho- I really identified with Tearjerker so check it out and holler back with your thoughts:

Picture's on the wall just waiting there to fall
Still remind me that painful holiday can almost hear you say
Please don't miss me too long
What did I do wrong
Could've sung a different song you were my tune
Make my heart believe a want is not a need
And I'm all right without you
The days go by the nights don't change
The stars still spell out your name
I will wait for you
The world has let me down
Is it you're just not around
I've lost my reason all the memories
Every smile you gave to me you can keep them
The days go by the nights don't change
The stars still spell out your name
I will wait for you
I will wait for you
I will wait for you
I will wait for you
I will wait for you
days go by
And still I will wait for you

So mostly, I really like lyrics for mix tapes when they don't say anything that I don't want them to say. I think this one does that. it says what I want it to without saying anything undesirable. That said, I really don't get the painful holiday line, but maybe I'm just being obtuse.

Attacking Iran: I Know It Sounds Crazy, But...

Attacking Iran: I Know It Sounds Crazy, But...

This article addresses some very interesting points about the problem of Iranian nuclear capability. The first of those being that they don't actually have nuclear capability, and the second being that we ignore the formidable arsenal which Israel possesses.
Here are some of my favorite parts:

[referring to equative nonproliferation in the middle-east] "Required: not only moral clarity but also what Thomas Aquinas labeled the precondition for all virtue, courage. In this context, courage would include a refusal to be intimidated by inevitable charges of anti-Semitism."


"Has everyone forgotten that deterrence worked for some 40 years, while for most of those years the U.S. and the USSR had not by any means lost their lust for ever-enhanced nuclear weapons? The point is simply that, while engaging the Iranians bilaterally and searching for more imaginative nuclear-free proposals, the U.S. might adopt a more patient interim attitude regarding the striving of other nation states to acquire nuclear weapons -- bearing in mind that the Bush administration's policies of "preemption" and "regime change" themselves create powerful incentives for exactly such striving. As was the case with Iraq two years ago, there is no imminent Iranian strategic threat to Americans -- or, in reality, to anyone. Even if Iran acquired a nuclear capability, there is no reason to believe that it would risk a suicidal first strike on Israel. That, after all, is what mutual deterrence is all about; it works both ways."

The Smiths being Awesome

So, apparently the Smiths are freaking awesome. I never knew. And apparently nobody in the band's last name is Smith. Wierd, huh? Recently, I've become obsessed with their music. Just like in the past I was obsessed with Styx. 80s bands whose names start with S...interesting. This Smiths obsession has been fueled by my recent discovery of ourtunes(a version of gettunes for us lowly PC users). Ironically, ourtunes has increased the size of my music collection by so much that I haven't even listened to a lot of the new stuff I've downloaded. So even though I have all sorts of new music, I don't listen to it. If I were to listen to all of the new music I have, it would take me two days without stopping. That's a lot. But as it is, I listen to the same stuff over and over again. It's really making me want an iPod.
I was at Pure Volume and Smart Punk the other day and I realized how many bands there are out there. It's unfathomable. Seriously. I mean, just here in Provo we have a lot of bands. Last Friday I had to choose between going to go see Another Statistic and Details of Speech. I've seen both bands already (they did a show together up in Midvale) and I really like both of them. Then there's The Denver Office, Beta B, and a number of other bands that I don't even know about. It's seriously overwhelming.
I'm going to the Modest Mouse concert @ in the venue on Friday. Heard about it at the Moving Units show at the Lo-Fi Cafe three weeks ago(also an amazing band- check them out). Anyways, point of the post is that there is a lot of music. A lot of stuff made with the same three or four instruments. And yet it's all distinctive. Crazy crazy world.
So this weekend started out really good, ended not so good, and when it ended I felt like crap. The whole deer situation really bummed me out. But then I had an epiphany on Monday morning. Seeing the deer die helped me realize that things weren't as bad as they seemed on Sunday. I am not a dead deer, and so even though sometimes I might feel like that, a lot worse things could have happened to me. It's way difficult to keep that in mind, but it helps me to get through the week.

Left, Right, & Wrong

Left, Right, & Wrong

I'm about out of time before I have to move, but I really liked this article.